One of the keys to overall success and maturity is developing a consistent inner core of values and a personality style for work, home and relationships. The goal is to avoid the disconnect we see in the media every day, for example, between the public and private lives of leaders.
Smart, professional women at work often use successful techniques in their career that would also succeed at home.
Work Techniques for Home
1. Be clear about your expectations, tasks and job assignments. For example, if Jr. is supposed to take out the garbage on Tuesdays, specify the task with details.
2. Write expectations out and post them where they can be read.
3. Give praise when a person has done a task well. Make sure you praise in person and in public. Take your daughter aside, for instance, give her a big hug and tell her how happy you are that she put her toys away. At dinner or breakfast, announce to the family that Susie put all her toys on the shelf last night.
4. Give precise feedback when there is a problem. Always begin with what is bothering you. Be clear about what you didn’t like or what went wrong. Be sure to include a solution, invite input and restate the task. Tell Jr., for example, that you didn’t like his coming in past his curfew. Even though he had a good reason for being late (the waiter messed up the order), tell him from now on he is to call when he sees that he is running late. Ask him if he thinks this rule is fair. Remind him that the new rule is in effect now, and then repeat the curfew time.
5. Give intermittent positive feedback to increase motivation. For example, when your partner does something you like, praise him for the first several times. Then skip a few praises before you praise again. Repeat. This method creates inner motivation in others, and they begin to do the right things because it makes them feel good – not just to please you. Eventually, the person tends to act responsibly without your praise. However, always make sure you continue to say positive statements from time to time.
Home Techniques for Work – Especially for Bosses
1. Say hello to all key employees. Know their names and at least one thing about each. Be sure to attend some of the office celebrations for employees.
2. Share something a little personal that doesn’t feel too intimate. For example, you might tell a funny story about what happened on your family vacation.
3. Put family photos in your office. Talk a little about your children or partner.
4. Give negative feedback in private to an employee or colleague. Never diminish a person in front of others. To increase employee and colleague motivation, ask them what they think is the best way to solve the problem. When employees are involved in developing solutions, they are more likely to execute them better because they feel a sense of ownership, pride and control.
5. Praise in private and public. People like to feel appreciated, recognized and included.
Written originally for w2wlink.com by Dr. LeslieBeth Wish.
Ed.D., MSS, is nationally recognized for her work with women's relationships. Her expert advice is quoted in major publications such as The Washington Post, USA Today, Women's Health, US Weekly, More, Better Homes and Gardens and Woman's Day. Learn more at www.lovevictory.com.